So you think you’ve been on the worst date known to mankind? Think again
- Ever been on a date that just seems to be incredibly bad?
- Some of the worst first dates so you don’t feel so bad about yours anymore
Biggest crush, biggest letdown
Out of the blue a guy I’ve had a massive crush on for years asked me out for dinner and movie. As a broke college student, this sounded pretty exciting since life for me is pretty much Hot Pockets and textbooks. When the day of our date finally arrived, I waited..and waited..and waited, but no word from him. He was nearly an hour late, so he suggested we skip the restaurant, though I was starving. At the theater, he all but pushes me out of the way to get in front of me in line so he can pay for his own ticket and leaves me to buy my own. Then in the movie, he keeps talking through all of the dialogue. He doesn’t want to get dinner afterward–he says he needs to drop me off now so he can go to a party and get drunk.
I met this guy online and agreed to meet up for dinner that night. A few hours later, he texts to tells me he is in the hospital and asks me to come visit him, but won’t explain why he’s there. I agree, thinking maybe he broke his leg or had a car accident on the way to dinner? When I arrive, I discover he’s there because he tried to kill himself when he found out his wife wanted a divorce! I’m feeling terribly awkward I trying to come up with an excuse to leave when his family arrives…and he tells them I’m his girlfriend. I left, and for months afterward he continued to text and call me while I ignored him.
It was my first date ever, so I was really nervous. When the guy and I met up at the movies, he acted clearly uninterested in me, which was okay because I felt the same way. So I was looking forward to getting the date over with and never speaking to him again. Then about halfway through the movie, I received a text from him asking, “Will you give me a blowjob in the men’s bathroom?” I told him I wouldn’t be doing anything of the sort and we never spoke again.
Tip from The Top
I went on a first date with a guy, and admitted I was not the best at math. He then proceeded to tell me how easy math was, and how he could clearly take my same classes, never show up to any of them, and still get better grades. He then asked me if I knew how to leave a tip; I told him I normally double the tax. He then spent 10 minutes showing me on a piece of paper how to find 15 percent, and was freaking out about the fact that by doubling the tax, I was in fact “overtipping by about 1.5 percent.” The horror! He wouldn’t let us pay the bill and leave until I showed him I could calculate the exact 15 percent tip.
We’re sitting in a booth at dinner getting to know each other, and when she finds out I’m studying psychology in school, and won’t stop asking about mental disorders and specifically what people with severe depression act like. When I offered to pay, she began hysterically crying. I dropped her off, and within 15 seconds of her getting out of the car, I got a text asking to go on another date–she wasn’t even inside her house yet. Maybe she thinks I’ll be a free psychologist?
There Will Beano Second Date
So, I met this guy at a club, he was cute, and we exchanged numbers. He started texting me a lot and asked me out for coffee. We made pleasant small talk: stories about our childhood, sports, favorite TV shows, etc. Then he adds that he always has to fart–when he’s in the car, at the club, in restaurants, and every time he sits down. I don’t say anything, so he follows it up, “Actually, I need to fart right now,” and lets one loose in the coffee shop, which I could hear. I said I had a family dinner and and left.
A Know-It-All Who Doesn’t
I knew the guy was health-conscious, but when I ordered a chicken salad, he proceeded to inform me that I should not eat the cranberries or vinaigrette dressing due to their “overly high sugar content.” After the dietary lecture, he started talking about the contestants on that season’s Dancing with The Stars. The conversation turned to people who overcome physical disabilities to rise to stardom, and he looked at me square in the face and said, “Oh, you mean like Helen Keller…wasn’t she on ‘Dancing With the Stars?’”
We met up to walk around a nearby park. We passed a cell phone on the ground, and he picked it up–I thought he was going to be a good samaritan and try to return it. Instead, he put it in his pocket and said, “Awesome. Free phone.” As we continued walking, he seemed distracted and like he was bored. At one point, I told him that I’m a bit of a Trekkie and he just flat-out said, “Yeah. I have absolutely no interest in what you’re talking about.”